Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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