That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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