She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He felt like a one man threesome
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
