his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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