i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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