You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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