Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
soo... how was my night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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