Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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