Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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