You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
