that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
