So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
