Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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