I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
