Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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