I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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