No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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