"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
