I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
