ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
