I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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