you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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