physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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