the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
