i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
