Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
