Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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