True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
