i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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