sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
