margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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