i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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