I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
