I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
