i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
