My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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