Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
