The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
