This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's never too late to be topless.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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