i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I would fuck him just for his dog
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
