rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
