I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
