there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
