If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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