You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
