He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
