whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
