YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
