I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
