i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
