i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i dont even know how to be here
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
