My brain says no but my pants say off.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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